I wanna split, like your personality
I wanna leave, this rancid reality
Like Phileas Fogg I wanna float away
Like James Bond I wanna die another day
And that day; is today.
This world is not made for me,
It’s a game of Sims that I can’t leave
It’s big brother ‘til the end of time
Stuck in a p*ss poor pantomime
My life is pernicious, it’s a joke with no punchline
My life is a mojito with a rotten wedge of lime
It’s a rollercoaster with half a loop the loop
It’s a Tesco value can of sh*t-flavoured soup
Like a contact lens left in overnight, nothing is clear
I’m a nobody, get me out of here.

After cancelling a string of Fringe Shows in 2017 due to ill mental health, T.S. IDIOT is back, and at least slightly older (if not better). In I’m a Nobody, he asks all the questions you wish no one had thought of - when did everything get so terrible? Where’s my moustache? And who was that beautiful man in Lidl? Expect 45 minutes of thinly veiled neuroticism, tender musings and a camel called Chris.
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Written & Performed by T.S. IDIOT

Love and thanks to Devon County Council, Fluoxetine and failures everywhere.

I’m a Nobody, Get Me Out of Here is available for bookings from Autumn 2019.