A is for Adam whose seatbelt was damagedB is for Billy, savaged by Badgers
C is for Carlos, covered in hives
D is for Dora who just woke up and died
E is for Eric, stuck in a door
F is for Fred falling from the 4th floor
G is for Gareth, trapped in a garage
H is for Harry, hassled by hammers
I is for Ida, trapped in the ice
J is for Jemma, overcome by headlice
K is for Kevin whose head it was severed
And L is for Larry, skinned for his leather
M is for Michael who licked a live pylon
And N is for Norman, engulfed by a python.
O is for Oliver made love to the toaster
P is for Peter, Herb coated and roasted
Q is for Quentin, asleep on the road
R is for Ruby - in the grass she got mowed.
S is for Stacey who fell off a pier
T is for Timmy, trampled by deer
U is for Ursula who choked on a curtain
And V is for Violet whose murder was certain.
W is for Wallace who just slowly rusted
X is for Xavier – spontaneous combustion!
Y is for Yuri, choked on his own ear
And Z is for Zena who died right here.